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101 ways to annoy people

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101 ways to annoy people Empty 101 ways to annoy people

Post by Guest Thu Nov 15, 2007 9:39 pm

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

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Post by Skullking Fri Nov 16, 2007 1:19 am

I can't be bothed reading them all but I have done "6" heaps of times Very Happy
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Post by Guest Fri Nov 16, 2007 11:56 am

those are the funniest god damn things ever!!!!!! every time i read one i chocked on my popcorn, wet my pants, and burst out laughing.
lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Post by Skullking Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:55 am

ditto lol!

except for the popcorn and wetting of pants Suspect Suspect
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Post by Guest Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:32 am

ummmm, that last part wasnt real. and i was eating pocorn at the time.

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Post by Skullking Sat Nov 17, 2007 7:53 pm

I wasn't Suspect
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Post by Guest Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:02 pm

ok...Razz

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Post by Skullking Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:53 pm

Sleep
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Post by Guest Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:30 pm

THOSE ARE ALL SO FUNNY

[beeep bipbip boop beep ]

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Post by Skullking Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:35 pm

what did you call my mother!!!!
lol!
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Post by Guest Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:42 pm

that's what YOU think.

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Post by Skullking Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:50 pm

BEEEEEEEEEP BEEPBEEP BEEEEEP, OH SORRY THATS MY ALARM FOR 4:49:49
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Post by Guest Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:17 am

self destruct activate!?!?

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Post by Guest Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:10 pm

SELF DESTRUCT COUNTDOWN SEQUENCE COMMENCING IN:
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
0...
***
***
**
**
**
*
-







-1...

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Post by Skullking Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:01 pm

...
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Post by Guest Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:00 pm

...

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Post by Skullking Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:37 pm

you know what kowl slaw, we don't need these "101 ways to annoy people" we are gods at this! Rolling Eyes
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Post by Guest Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:12 pm

you know what, ur right!Laughing Razz

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Post by Guest Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:45 pm

sorryijustcomeintoconversation.whatusay?

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Post by Guest Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:52 pm

wearethegodofrandomallyourbasebelongtous?

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Post by Guest Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:34 pm

ahyes.wearethegodsofannoyance.

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Post by Guest Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:47 am

hahahamakeyourtime? allyourbasebelongtous? someonesetusupthebomb?

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Post by Guest Fri Nov 23, 2007 6:19 pm

WHAT BOMB!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

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Post by Guest Fri Nov 23, 2007 7:49 pm

you wouldnt understand

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Post by Guest Fri Nov 23, 2007 9:54 pm

why the weorilkngklsanvksjerthwerjasdnfv is 'understand' italicized?

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