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Mental Help

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Mental Help Empty Mental Help

Post by Guest Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:50 pm

Oh, and I seriously wrote all of these at some point or another.

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and we will transfer your call to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

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Post by Guest Wed Nov 12, 2008 6:04 pm

lol!

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Post by Communist Bob Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:19 pm

YOU GOT THAT FROM SOMEWHERE LOL!!
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Post by Guest Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:04 pm

[sarcasm] NO REALLY?????????????????????? i thought it was just THERE and he didnt even know he got it. electrifying [/sarcasm]

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Post by Communist Bob Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:43 am

what?
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Post by Guest Sat Nov 15, 2008 5:06 pm

Evil or Very Mad

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Post by Guest Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:04 am

lol at mentals

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