joke of the day

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."

And it was good.

Later that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."

With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the helmet of silver and blue.

God said, "Let it be called, 'The Dallas Cowboys' - America's team."

Later that day, God said, "Even Cowboys need a$$holes."

So he made their fans.

...

how can you not get this?

what, do you like the cowboys or somthing?

actually, i hate football (but go Patriots!)

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!

The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

who is it? who is laughing!!!!!

why is someone laughing?

nevermind...

now there is that laghing again!

where's it coming from?

i'll go mad!

i'd like to see that!

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''

Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''

:car:

What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.

Xplosiv999 wrote:actually, i hate football (but go Patriots!)

Me too.

everybody thinks im wierd because of that, and that i dont like chocolate (except kitkats)

....are chocolate

i know. that's what the word "except" is for.